This is by far my favorite piece I've created in this class. It speaks to something I have experienced before, but also something I've experienced harshly this year. No one seems to want to get to know me, they don't want clear communication, they don't want to get to the truth of any matter. They would rather pummel me into the dirt and smear my name rather than come to understand who I am.
This piece was partly for them. Not necessarily to change their mind, nor to show them who I am, but to lay out the damage they have done, plain as day and show them, even if I spend years undoing what they've done to me, they've still caused me considerable damage. And if they don't care, that's their prerogative, but I refuse to let them forget it.
But this piece is also for the people who have been put down and have had to work through their hardship. It is representative of a common way that human beings hurt each other. We constantly, as tribalistic creatures, assume the worst of people once mistakes are made and would rather latch on to easily assumed negativity than hard to swallow complex characteristics. The more complex someone is, the harder it is to "other" them.
Mainly, this piece is for me. When I first performed this piece in the classroom, I was asked if this was cathartic, and at first it wasn't. But I realized, in refining this piece that I needed it to be cathartic. This is an expression of something I have been faced with. Many people assume an astounding number of things about me; that I am weak, obese, and perfectly available to be taken advantage of. When you're constantly bombarded with this reality, it is hard to find it not true. But as I have had to learn, and as this piece demonstrates, I can't let that be the truth. It is not a reality I want to live in so I will do what I can to change it. I don't even know if I can describe the pure relief of ripping that last piece of nylon off my body. I felt the whole room release tension and in that moment I felt deeply connected to every person in that room.
Originally, I thought of simply writing things I have been called on myself while dressed all in white but I realized that with the use of tights and nylons, I would be able to gain an effect of residue and leftover pain from being attacked in this way. And also, I could gain a physical representation of my struggle. I am deeply grateful I had thought of that.
All in all, I know this piece has given me insight into my own emotions as well as impacted almost everyone who has seen it, which is all I ever want my art to do.
This piece was partly for them. Not necessarily to change their mind, nor to show them who I am, but to lay out the damage they have done, plain as day and show them, even if I spend years undoing what they've done to me, they've still caused me considerable damage. And if they don't care, that's their prerogative, but I refuse to let them forget it.
But this piece is also for the people who have been put down and have had to work through their hardship. It is representative of a common way that human beings hurt each other. We constantly, as tribalistic creatures, assume the worst of people once mistakes are made and would rather latch on to easily assumed negativity than hard to swallow complex characteristics. The more complex someone is, the harder it is to "other" them.
Mainly, this piece is for me. When I first performed this piece in the classroom, I was asked if this was cathartic, and at first it wasn't. But I realized, in refining this piece that I needed it to be cathartic. This is an expression of something I have been faced with. Many people assume an astounding number of things about me; that I am weak, obese, and perfectly available to be taken advantage of. When you're constantly bombarded with this reality, it is hard to find it not true. But as I have had to learn, and as this piece demonstrates, I can't let that be the truth. It is not a reality I want to live in so I will do what I can to change it. I don't even know if I can describe the pure relief of ripping that last piece of nylon off my body. I felt the whole room release tension and in that moment I felt deeply connected to every person in that room.
All in all, I know this piece has given me insight into my own emotions as well as impacted almost everyone who has seen it, which is all I ever want my art to do.
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